Regaining Friendly Relations

February 2008

Valentine’s Day is right around the corner, so this month Nurse Rona Renner, host of the radio show Childhood Matters and the parenting expert for the Bay Area Discovery Museum, revisits our most popular topic: Reigniting the spark with your parenting partner!

Q. After juggling kids and work all day, I don’t have much energy left for my Valentine.  Any advice?

A. Parenting is hard work.  And after taking care of everything that needs to get done in a day --- your job, your kids, the house – it's hard to find time to take care of your relationship too.   But a healthy partnership is key to a child’s well-being.  Studies show that children raised in a loving environment feel more secure about their world.

So this Valentine’s Day, you and your partner may want to review the following tips.  Putting even a few of them into practice may well help you regain those friendly relations that led you to parenthood in the first place!

• Don’t just talk at each other.  Instead, always try to make contact.  Give your partner a hug or kiss when he or she walks in the door.  There’s plenty of time for complaining later.

• Forego the silent treatment.  Say what’s bothering you or express what you want.  Your partner (unfortunately) isn’t a mind reader.

• Choose a good time to talk.  Heated issues can wait until you both have the time to sit down with each other. 

• Be prepared for some give and take.  Aren’t you always telling your kids to share or compromise?  The same goes for your relationship.  Try to work toward agreement on contentious issues – not victory. 

Above all, make your relationship a priority.  It’s easy to let time pass without connecting with each other.  A weekly or even monthly date night can make a real difference.  So call a sitter and go out this Valentine’s Day.  It’s not just good for you, it’s good for your kids too!

Rona Renner, RN, hosts the parenting radio show Childhood Matters, every Sunday from 9-10 AM on 98.1 KISS-FM.  Do you have a question about parenting? Send it to asknurserona@badm.org