Mommy, why does that kid look different?

March 2007

Children come in all sizes, colors and abilities. This month Nurse Rona Renner, host of the radio show Childhood Matters and the parenting expert for the Bay Area Discovery Museum, suggests ways to talk about differences with your child.

Q. At the playground my daughter pointed at a child in a wheelchair and asked—loudly—why he was different.   What should I have said?

A. Kids are naturally curious and the sight of a child in a wheelchair can be fascinating to them—but it shouldn’t make anyone feel awkward.

When a child has a disability, learning or developmental delay, we all play a role in helping them feel accepted, loved, and comfortable in their environment.  As parents we need to model positive—and empathetic—behavior.  For example, the next time you see someone in a wheelchair, say hello or smile.  Through your example, you can teach your children that we all have different abilities to be noticed and respected.

Here are some other ways to support families of children with disabilities:

• Don’t be afraid to ask questions and offer help.

• Be patient. Often kids with learning or developmental issues need extra time to answer questions or more room to physically maneuver around. 

• Be inclusive if possible.  Typically-developing children can learn a great deal by playing with kids with physical or learning challenges—and vice versa.

• Observe a child’s strengths; don’t just focus on his or her special needs.

Most important, be honest with your kids.  Take the time to answer their questions rather than shushing them because you’re embarrassed. Over the years, I’ve learned that children tend to see each others’ similarities much more than their differences; it’s more often us adults who feel uncomfortable with people who seem different. 

Rona Renner, RN, hosts the parenting radio show Childhood Matters, every Sunday from 9-10 AM on 98.1 KISS-FM.  Do you have a question about parenting? Sleep?  Setting limits or dealing with temper tantrums?  Send it to asknurserona(at)badm.org. 

Click here to learn more about our current exhibition on disability awareness, access/ABILITY.