Keeping the Romance Alive

January 6, 2008

As a parent, finding time for sleep, yet alone quality time, romance, and sex with your partner can be a challenge. But taking care of your relationship is a true gift for your child and family.

Q. As the mom of two active young boys I’m exhausted and I’m beginning to worry that I’ll never have the energy to bring some romance back into my marriage. Any suggestions for my husband and me?

A. With approximately 50% of marriages ending in divorce, I think parents need to step back and seriously think about how they can stay connected and in love. Children benefit greatly from parents who have a healthy relationship, and yet all too often I hear people say that they just don’t make time for romance and connection, especially when they feel tired, stressed, or unattractive.

Here are some ideas that have worked for other couples

• Make a date and put it in your planner like other appointments. If you don’t do this the responsibilities of daily living and the needs of kids will overshadow the importance of time alone.
•  Arrange to have your child go to a friend or relatives house so you and your husband can be at home alone. You can do this on the weekend during the day when you’re not so tired. One way to afford this on a regular basis is to find a friend who has a child and trade off each week. This way you get free babysitting twice a month.
• Send your husband an-mail or leave a voice message and tell him how much you miss him. Let him know that you’re looking forward to your date.
• Take care of yourself so you’ll be in the mood for some romance. Think about what makes you feel good and try to get some time for yourself.
• Kiss your husband hello when you’ve been apart, even after a hard day at work, and before you complain about the kids or work.

The emotional health of your family depends in part on how you balance your needs with the needs of your children. Increasing romantic times with your husband is good for all of you.

Rona Renner, RN, hosts the parenting radio show Childhood Matters, now on Saturday morning from 9-10 AM on Green 960AM.  Do you have a question about parenting? Sleep?  Setting limits?  Send it to asknurserona@badm.org