December 2008: Preparing for Another Child

Preparing for another child

December 2008

Is your family preparing for a second child? This month Nurse Rona Renner, host of the radio show Childhood Matters and the parenting expert for the Bay Area Discovery Museum, suggests ways to help a big sister or brother adjust to a new baby.

Q. I have a two year old who is going to be a big sister in a few months. What can I do to prepare her for our new baby?

A. There are many things you can do to prepare your daughter, but keep in mind the reality of another child will be a real surprise to her (and you). Accept that she’s likely have various reactions once the baby is home, and she might even regress and want to have a bottle or try breastfeeding again. If she’s potty trained she may have more frequent accidents. These things will pass with lots of hugs and one-on-one time with her while someone else holds the baby.

Some tips for big sister/brother prep:

  • Visit a friend who has a baby or look at babies at the park or in the store. Don’t talk about having a new baby too early. Toddlers really don’t have a good sense of time. Introduce the idea when your belly starts to grow, when they ask questions, or when others are starting to talk about the new baby.
  • Let your daughter/son help you pick out some clothes or supplies for the baby. Get a shirt that says, “big sister/brother.” You can also buy her a doll to play with before or after the birth. Remind people who come to visit to not only talk about the baby, but to give your daughter/son attention too.
  • Look at your child's baby pictures. Talk about how little they were and how they have grown. Tell her how you fed them and changed their diaper and comforted them when they cried.
  • Read stories about new babies. There are many good books so ask the librarian for help to find appropriate books that fit with your values. Some suggestions are:
    • Waiting for Baby by Annie Kubler
    • Mommy’s Lap by Ruth Horowitz
    • The New Baby by Mercer Mayer
    • Baby Sister by Tomie DePaola

Don’t worry if your daughter/son tells you she doesn’t want a new baby. Once they see that you still pay attention to them and they can help out with the baby, they'll make the transition. Get as much rest and support as you can so you’ll have the patience to help your daughter or son become a big sister or brother.

Rona Renner, RN, hosts the parenting radio show Childhood Matters, now on Saturday morning from 9-10 AM on Green 960AM.  Do you have a question about parenting? Sleep?  Setting limits?  Send it to asknurserona@badm.org

content footer